Godzilla (B-)

"When we land, I'm going to throw up."

I took my son to see the latest edition of Godzilla today. While he earnestly proclaimed it was a solid four stars, I was somewhat less impressed. You may ask me "Why?" dear reader, and I will answer you thus: "For a movie titled Godzilla, the titular character doesn't have a hell of a lot of screen time."

The acting was solid, the special effects were great, and the scenes involving Godzilla were spellbinding. Unfortunately, you don't really get a glimpse of him until the movie's already been going for a good long while. The slow start involves introducing the main characters and allowing for a little historical perspective, which is great. I was still disappointed with the film's distinct lack of giant lizards.

That said, the movie does show off the enemy monsters quite a bit, and they're pretty neat. On the occasion that they get down and dirty with Godzilla, it's pretty impressive. As with earlier incarnations of Godzilla and his kaiju cousins, mankind's armed forces don't do much more than annoy them. Why would anyone bother spraying a huge monster with small arms fire? I have no clue. Seems like a good way to get squashed to me.

Given that the movie is so new, I'll spare you any huge spoilers. Suffice it to say that it begins with something crawling out of a hole in the ground, which then leads to the destruction of a Japanese nuclear power plant. The power plant's destruction results in the death of Joe Brody's (played by Bryan Cranston) wife, which leads him to a fifteen year search for the real cause of the accident. In the midst of all this turmoil is Joe's son, Ford (played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson), who is an ordnance disposal specialist in the US Army.

Rather than destroying Tokyo, the film's creatures head east towards the United States. I guess Asia experienced enough abuse in Pacific Rim, and they wanted to spread the love around a little more. Lots of buildings get demolished, and a lot of people get stepped on, and this ultimately leads to an impressive showdown between Godzilla (who is much more of a clumsy protagonist than a villain) and the enemy critters (who just want to settle down on the West Coast and have a few thousand babies).

"Where's the big lizard? There's supposed to be a big lizard!"

Though it was a monster movie, it wasn't really a horror film. There were some quick scares here and there, but they were generally the cheap kind (in other words, there's a loud sound and something mildly shocking happens on screen). Even my son wasn't particularly frightened, which is saying a lot. It doesn't take much for him to hide his face. The monster effects were good, but there's absolutely no gore to speak of, either.

It did kick the pants off the Devlin/Emmerich version of Godzilla from 1998 (which--let's face it--was complete and utter garbage; I still regret paying full price to see it in the local movie theater). It doesn't provide quite the nostalgia for the original Tojo films, but there's not much that can do that. Overall, it's worth seeing, especially if you liked Pacific Rim, but understand that you'll be waiting a while for the Big G to show up.

Frankenstein's Army (C+)

War is Hell, right?

This movie was... interesting. Not intellectually so, but from the perspective of someone who enjoys elaborate costumes and practical special effects. If I were judging films solely on their effects and costumes, Frankenstein's Army would have knocked it out of the park. Unfortunately, it was also plagued by pacing issues, tepid acting, skin-deep characterization, and not a single character I could empathize with (except for the German nurse, Eva, played by Christina Catalina).

The movie is in the "found footage" style, and has an unusual premise. A group of Russian military scouts is on patrol during World War II. They discover a repeating distress call on the radio and go off to investigate its source. The guy filming it all, Dmitri (played by Alexander Mercury) is doing it for posterity, on orders from (I assume) high command. The first thing you'll notice, though, is that it's filmed in color. I guess I can forgive this--there was color photography at the time, but it would have felt more authentic (to me, anyway) in black and white. Then again, maybe that would have made the film's gore less impressive.

Not one of the Russian characters is sympathetic. They're all cruel and bloodthirsty, with the possible exception of Sacha (played by Luke Newberry), an apparent lackwit who gets bossed around and insulted most of the time he's on camera. The worst of the lot is the hot-headed Vassili, played by Andrei Zayats, who enjoys torturing Germans and beating up women like any other all-around swell dude.

The long and short of the movie is that the Russians find the source of the distress signal, an old church, and poke around long enough to discover a strange creature that kills their leader, Sergeant Novikov (played by Robert Gwilim). The Russians argue over which of them will take charge of the squad, and it's determined that Sergei (played by Joshua Sasse) will take over for the disemboweled Novikov. Vassili isn't happy about it, but he relents when it appears that no one else wants him in charge.

Angered by the death of Novikov, the troops continue to explore the church and its surroundings and capture what appears to be its caretaker. After Vassili tortures him, the caretaker agrees to show them where the creatures are coming from. This is where the real fun of the movie begins, as the "zombots" come into play and begin to whittle the Russians down.

The zombots really steal the show. There's a seemingly endless variety of them, and given the fact that nearly everyone in the squad is a jerk for one reason or another, it's actually fun to watch them get butchered. Eventually, the remaining soldiers abandon Dmitri (for reasons I won't spoil for you) in the depths of the maze-like catacombs beneath the church. Dmitri encounters Doctor Frankenstein (played by Karel Roden), and the good doctor allows him to live so he can film his experiments.

He's such a nice man. Don't let the claws fool you.

The ending comes pretty suddenly, but it's not entirely unsatisfying. There are a handful of twists and surprises, which keeps the action fresh, but the story itself pretty rote. This isn't a particularly serious film, but it's not a comedy either, so gauge your expectations accordingly. If you can get past the acting and pacing, at least until the zombots show up, the movie is pretty enjoyable and filled with a large variety of "WTF" moments. I found myself laughing with delight at every new zombot, as well as the Russians' reactions to them.

Overall, I liked this movie. It's not really the direction I might've gone with a story where Dr. Frankenstein is making war machines for the Nazis. If you like practical special effects and amazing monster costumes, you should definitely take it for a spin.