The Crying Dead (D)

"We're a lot scarier on the poster."

Tonight I was checking the movies on Amazon Prime and I came across a few supernatural horror films that sounded like they'd be terrible. You know, right up my alley. I added them to my watch list and started up the first of them: The Crying Dead.

Initially, the film begins with black and white footage of a woman being treated with electroshock therapy. Eventually, the patient uses what appears to be telekinetic powers to bring harm to her shock-happy doctors and nurse. From then, it cascades into what appear to be audition tapes, and this leads to a roughly-filmed sequence where three people are running away from something in what appears to be a hospital.

There is a lot of shouting and screaming, panting, cursing, and indistinct video--much as you'd expect from a found footage-type film. Outside of the stilted acting in the initial black and white electroshock/telekinetic brutality part, the acting isn't terrible. I assume a great deal of it was improvised, rather than scripted, but I could be wrong.

The narrative (if you can call it that) goes back in time to "20 Hours Earlier," where a number of other individuals are introduced in a parking lot. They arrive one by one and are introduced to one another. The group is filming a pilot for a reality show involving ghostly investigations, and the quality of the show will have a lot of bearing on whether it gets picked up or not. Becka Lassiter (Becka Adams) is the show's producer, while Andrew Halstead (Andrew Olsen) and Jeffrey Pierson (Jeff Stearns) are the camera assistant and camera operator, respectively.

Chris Mitchell (Chris Hayes), the actor playing the part of the show's lead investigator, is very serious about ghosts and the supernatural. Angelina Becker (Angelina Lyubomirova), one of his co-investigators, seems open to the supernatural, though she never appears quite as invested as Chris is. The third investigator, Callie Brooks (Callie Cameron), is an admitted skeptic and apparent airhead.

"Don't look at the string! Just pretend it's not there!"

The cast and crew board an RV and ride for several hours. They make a couple of stops along the way, and we get to explore a little more about each of them. There are little snippets of the cast talking, going over what they'll be doing, and the back story of the hospital that they'll be investigating. Three young girls were burned alive when the hospital's boiler exploded in 1924, and a few other stories/legends are touched on. You never really get a feeling for who these people are supposed to be outside of generalities: Callie is a ditz, Jeffrey is a jerk, etc. There's not enough given for me to feel invested in any of them.

Once they arrive, the hospital's caretaker shows them around, and they talk about the place and some of its history. When the caretaker learns that they plan to stay overnight, he refuses to allow it. As far as he knows, they're only warranted a tour. Becka attempts to work something out, but is unsuccessful. Chris, with Angelina's support, suggests breaking into the hospital after dark to film anyway. Of course, they all agree (to varying degrees) and get on with the breaking in (which is mercifully glossed over).

The crew sets up shop in the hospital, placing cameras at certain locations. Initial impressions are that it's all pretty standard fare for this kind of a film. A lot of nothing happens for a good while, and we look at a lot of camera images without seeing anything particularly weird or scary. The characters perform a few gags which, when edited in post-production, should provide "evidence" of a haunting. As they do so, one of the static cams films a gurney moving in a hallway. None of the cast is aware of this, and they continue looking around for things to film. As they do, the static cams capture a child-like shape crawling through a hallway.

When the first victim is attacked by the ghosts, you pretty much see it all. The ghost effects are a little too blatant, a little too unbelievable, which takes away from any residual creepiness. You get a real good look at all the spooks early on, and it ruins any mystery that might've been preserved by being a little more subtle. The filmmakers really tried to make the ghosts look creepy and otherworldly, but it only serves to make the effects seem cheap.

The cast runs a lot in this movie. Miles and miles. Really.

Suffice it to say that when things get rolling, it's nothing terribly original. Victims get tossed around by invisible forces, dragged away, and otherwise abused. One by one they meet their ends, though you never actually see anyone die on camera. It's just sort of assumed they do. Even when the last of the victims is ganked, it's more of a relief than anything. Because it means the movie is pretty much over.

I came into this one expecting nothing, and I guess I wasn't disappointed. A similar story was done before (as in, one month before), and better, by Grave Encounters. It almost makes me wonder if The Crying Dead was a mockbuster of Grave Encounters, or merely an independent project with a similar plotline. I guess the child ghosts make it somewhat unique, but they're not enough to turn a relatively tired concept into a supernatural gem.

Watch this one at your own risk, 'cause there's not a lot to see here. As far as the title goes, the ghosts don't do much crying. I suppose if I'd actually paid money to see the movie in a theater, I'd be the one in tears.